Behavior Tip 1: 7-Step Apologies

So my daughter is still "learning" how to use good manners and sometimes forgets. When I catch her and ask her to apologize, she says "SAH-ree" with a tone that makes your neck hair go straight up. How could this be starting so young? I wasn't expecting a 'tude until like 13. So as promised, I wanted to share a tip with you that our behavioral therapist relayed. It's pretty logical and easy, but the trick is that we, as parents, have to remember to carry it out in full. This tip can and should be adjusted based on the age of the child and is designed to improve a child's EQ (emotional intelligence).

The 7 Step Apology

1) Make sure the child addresses "whom" they are apologizing to in their actual apology, by name
2) The child's apology should include the words "I am sorry"
3) The apology should then include a description of the "reason" or what they did (i.e. "for being mean" does not count as an acceptable answer)
4) The child should go on to explain how he/she thinks you (the parent, the subject of the apology) "feels" about the behavior the child exhibited (i.e. it hurts your feelings, it made you feel sad, disrespected, etc.)
5) The child should now describe "how they feel" about your stated feelings (i.e. simple feelings words are fine)
6) The child must "promise" not to do this again
7) The child ends the apology by asking you to "consider forgiving him/her" - of course you will forgive them, but this requires the child to have to wait a little while for you to decide, and that means the child spends more time thinking about their actions and the consequences.

Hope this tip is helpful!